Introduction

I’m starting a 30 day hydration challenge.  Every day, I have to drink one gallon of water.  That’s 128 ounces… sixteen cups…  four f’ing quarts!  That’s a lot of water.  I want to try this to see if the discipline helps me pay closer attention to my dietary intake and see if it makes any improvements in how I feel.  Not that I don’t feel good now, but I just want to see if this discipline enhances me in any way.  The primary rule:  that I blog my observations every day.  

A little background information – I consider myself to be a healthy guy.  I watch what I eat and work out pretty regularly.  I have lapses of sloth and overindulgence just like the next person, but I’m always working to find subtle improvements in my diet and exercise regimen.  While I do usually drink my fair share of water, I’m pretty sure I don’t drink enough.  I’ve heard of miraculous results that people have had from increasing their water intake so, I thought, what the heck?  I’m going to start drinking a gallon of water every single day.  Here’s what happened.  (Check for new updates every day until this experiment is complete.)

Sunday April 10, 2016

Here we go.  I got my gallon consumed by approximately 7pm.  I’d had a good amount of wine last night so, I’m guessing that my body was yearning for some water anyway.  My water tank was full but I decided it would be a good idea to add a cup of detox herbal tea to the mix.  That’s when all hell started to break loose.  

I’d eaten well throughout the day (except for a few Girl Scout shortbread cookies ingested while I sofa-surfed in front of The Masters).  Suddenly, at the end of the day, I got a terrible chill right to my core.  I was freezing and felt like I had a momentary fever.  I shivered my way to a nice warm blanket.  Then, I started to sweat profusely.  Was this a reaction to my increased water consumption?  Was the detox tea removing some of the toxins from my wine consumption the night before?  Or, the whiskey the night before that?  It was hard to say.  But I felt like crap and I wasn’t sure why.  Not hangover crappy and not sick crappy.  Like something bad was being purged from my body at it’s very core.  

Drinking the gallon took a little work and concentration to remember but overall, it didn’t feel like a ridiculous amount of water to consume.  The amount of peeing I’m doing is however, quite ridiculous.  

Monday April 11, 2016

OK.  I’m still going strong.  I felt much better today.  This seems to validate my theory that I had some strange body flushing going on last night.  I wasn’t ill or hungover.  Something was being purged from my body and I think that the increased water consumption was partially the cause.  My body was like a Chinese metal plating plant.  It was dumping heavy metals and toxins into the Yangtze River like nobody’s business.  "Get that stuff outta here!” my liver said.  And my kidneys and bladder obliged.

I’m developing a theory that goes a little something like this:  things that are bad for you, tend to accumulate in your body.  Booze, sugar, and high fat foods, etc.  These things tend to not burn cleanly and they leave a residue behind in your liver, kidneys, and other organs.  Normally, your body would process these items and eliminate the residue over time.  But, if we eat poorly at our next meal before or kidneys were finished purging waste products from our last meal, it starts a vicious cycle.  Your body has to take care of the pizza in the belly before it can finish burning off the Oreos from an hour before.  This can cause inflammation and disease.  Water, in its infinite ability to dissolve things and send them on their way helps remove some of that “body junk”  

It’s 10am and I already have almost 64 ounces down.  And that doesn’t include a cup and a half of coffee and a 20 ounce homemade, protein-laden, nutrient-dense, water-filled, sugar-free smoothie.  So, that seems like a good start.  

I’ve peed about four times already today.  Each trip is like wrestling with a fireman’s hose on high.  Peeing is a forceful, powerful experience creating so much back-pressure that, with every trip to the bathroom, my penis practically raises up like a cobra ready to strike while spitting a venomous, angry spray of urine.  The pee stream feels about an inch wide too pouring out with a Niagara Falls volume at approximately two hundred psi of pressure.  And, it’s clear as rain water.   I peed so long once this afternoon that my legs started to get tired from standing in place for so long.  I may have to try sitting down next time.  This happens about every 20 minutes.  

I am noticing some immediate results.  I feel really good and I slept like a rock last night.  All the way through and I didn’t wake up once.  This may just be a theory but I would say that having a body that is thoroughly rinsed out on the inside benefits restful sleep.

Tuesday April 12, 2016

I got my gallon in again today.  It took some work to get the last 24 ounces or so down.  I’m sure that I exceeded the gallon today because I consumed two cups of coffee, a smoothie, and a 14 ounce protein shake after my trip to the gym.  But, it still takes focus to make my quota.  

It’s funny but my thirst seems to have increased even though I’m forcing in way more liquid on average than I have on any individual day in the past.  I literally could have just finished a pint of water and I’d feel somewhat thirsty about 15 minutes after.  Oh, of course, then I’d need to pee too.  

Peeing is my new hobby.  I plan my pee trips before every excursion to the grocery store, starting a writing assignment, beginning a home improvement project, watching a TV show, or basically any activity I know that will require an extended period of concentration to complete.  I know that I’ll need to take a violent piss at some point during any endeavor so, I do my best to bleed off excess bladder pressure before beginning. My mantra is now, “I’d better pee first.”   Drinking a gallon of water every day has turned me into a ninety year old woman.  

Wednesday April 13, 2016

I woke this morning with another violent need to take a leak.  At 5AM Big Henry was down there tapping me on the chest letting me know that it was time to go. My bladder has become a 110 lb Rottweiler that doesn’t take no for an answer. 

I’ve been sleeping great this week.  Deep restful sleep.  And I haven’t really changed many other behaviors besides drinking more water.  

I have noticed that I feel less anxious too.  Not that work is any less stressful but I care less and overreact less to difficulties.  So the water seems to be keeping my stress hormones and cortisol levels diminished.  

I also notice that I have much less desire for soda and other bad things when I’m drinking this much water.  Water replaces hunger and the desire to snack or drink things that have no nutritional value. I still drink coffee but less than I was before.  

Well, it’s time to go pee again.  Our office restroom is communal and down the hall.  I have to go in and out of our front door every time I need to answer the call.  I think our receptionist is starting to wonder what’s going on.  

Thursday April 14, 2016

Getting the gallon in every day seems easier each day.  It’s starting to become part of my routine.  

There are a lot of things that seem to improve with drinking more water.  It seems like my breath is more pleasant.  Not that I felt like I ever had bad breath but let’s be honest, no one’s breath smells like sunshine and roses.  Maybe it’s the increased saliva that seems to come with drinking more water?  I don’t know but even first thing in the morning, my breath seems better. 

Peeing is still my new favorite hobby.  

Friday April 15, 2016

OK.  I’ve found one place that does not mix well with drinking a gallon of water a day: the airport.  I slammed my third quart of the day as I drove to catch a plane to Las Vegas.  I could feel my bladder slowly expand as I made my way through the parking structure to park.  The need to go completely overtook me.  It was everything I could do to drag my suitcase down the sidewalk toward ticketing.  In my mind I was visualizing the exact routine where I could drop my bag, unzip, and commence relieving myself in the fewest number of moves.  I was probably seconds from an accident.  At least I had a suitcase full of clothes with me if something went awry.  

I don’t have any new physiological differences to report.  I just pee a lot.  

Saturday April 16 2016

I’ve found another place where drinking a gallon a day is problematic:  a Las Vegas craps table.  You’re standing there at attention during play.  You’re captive.  To worsen matters they are bringing you cocktails.  Answering the call of nature during a craps game definitely happens, but it’s something you stave off as long as possible.  You don’t want to leave your chips on the table unattended.  You also don’t want to give up your spot or miss the next hot roll. But, the call came, with a vengeance during my game today.  It was all I could do to cash out in time.  

They named the game wrong.  When drinking a gallon of water a day, instead of craps they should call it pees.