To a dog, almost everything is happening now. Go outside now. Eat something now. Sniff something now. Bark now. Chase something now. Hump something now. They have a rudimentary, shadowy sense of the past, but they live almost completely in the now. Dogs have absolutely no concept of the future. Ask a dog where he wants to go tomorrow and he’ll say, “I don’t know, we’ll see when that time gets here.” We could learn a lot from dogs.
The only way to train a dog is to stay in his world and live like he does. In the now. Don’t punish a dog for something he did two hours ago. He’s completely forgotten about it and moved on. You have to catch him in the middle of whatever behavior you want to correct when it’s happening, now, and re-direct him to what you want him to do. If you wait even a split second, he’s already moving onto a new now. He just crapped on the rug? You’d better catch him doing it now, or five minutes later he’s already trying to tear the squeaker out of a new toy. You have to redirect him right away. The goal is, if you stack up enough redirected now’s, his future now will ultimately be different. He’ll finally get it because you reshaped his automatic behavior.
People make the mistake that dogs think like we do. Don’t talk to a dog or try to reason with him. He’ll just turn his head to one side and give you that look of “I hear sound coming out of your head but it means nothing to me.” Don’t give your dog a firm talking to. He doesn’t have any idea what the fuck you’re talking about.
It doesn’t do any good to beat or berate a dog either. You’ll just end up with a crappy, fearful dog. Because, in the future, he won’t remember why you beat him. He’ll just remember that you did beat him, and he’ll want to avoid that again at all costs. Don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come when you call him.
Dogs work on instinct. And instinct doesn’t change by thought, it changes by repeated action. It’s similar to developing new good habits like drinking a glass of water as soon as you get up in the morning, exercising regularly, or eating right. You don’t give up soda in a day. However, if you replace drinking soda with drinking water enough times in a row, eventually, drinking water will become your new habit. Once you’ve made the decision to change, at every “now” moment going forward, when you want to reach for a soda, reach for a water instead. Drink that water down now and your body says “Hey, wait a minute… That’s not soda! OK. Guess water is what we’re doing now.” Boom! You’re in the now and on your way to creating a new automatic behavior. With persistent effort the habit will take hold. Work with your now moments. The same goes for dogs.
You can develop positive habits just the same. You can’t create a chiseled physique all at once. But you can make a decision to go to the gym now. You can do 25 pushups now. You can walk briskly for 20 minutes now. Over time you’ll crave more and more exercise. Just keep doing it. Now. Anything beside execution is really just excuses.
Staying in the now saves a lot of anxiety too. Why worry about something that may or may not happen an hour from now? Two weeks from now? A year from now? Stay positive, happy, and expectant of good things now, and a year from now takes care of itself. It will be now exactly one year from now. But live in this now, not that one.
The dog mentality extends out way beyond positive reinforcement. Many people talk about the power of having a great memory. Dogs also have a great forget-ory. Yell at a dog for chewing up your shoes? Two hours later he’s forgotten all about it and moved on. Put a pink bow on his head that embarrasses him in front of his friends? He’ll still wag his tail when you get home from work like he hasn’t seen you in a year.
To a dog, getting yelled at really just ruins his now. He’s not taking it personally. It’s a storm to be weathered until he gets to another happier more contented now. And he wants to make you happy so he’ll register just enough to eventually do what you want him to do if you are consistent in your efforts. There aren’t really any bad dogs, just bad training.
What if we could forget and move on that quickly? All that anger and resentment crap just weighs you down and ruins your now. Wrecks the fun you could be having, now. The laugh you could be having. Now. Forgive, move on, and say fuck it. Life’s too short.
And what if we remembered that we really train others how to treat us? Don’t tolerate disrespect, rudeness, or poor behavior. Be pleasant. Be polite. But be firm and deal with it in the now. Don’t accept that garbage. And worse yet, don’t be bitter or angry. You’ll just ruin your own now. The person you’re mad at won’t even care and your mood won’t change a thing. Eventually, do this enough times, and you’ll project a different personality to everyone you meet. Positive. More radiant and confident.
A dog’s life. Not too bad really.
