Ok, the Superbowl is this weekend.  And, I have to admit, I’m looking forward to it with the same zeal I would have going to the laundromat or taking out the garbage.  I’m a huge NFL fan – I think it’s hands down the best professional sport going. But for this year’s Superbowl, I don’t care who’s playing and I don’t care who wins.  Watching the game will simply be another task that needs to be done – something to be accomplished so that I won’t sound stupid when people ask me questions about the game on Monday.  I’ll watch it, but I don’t have to be excited about the teams that are playing, however.

This year’s Superbowl is a rematch between the Patriots and the Giants.  We’re supposed to care that the Giants prevented the Patriots from having a perfect season in 2008 and this is the big chance for the Patriots to exact their revenge.  Sorry, I just don’t care.

I can accept the Patriots making it to the game this year.  They’ve had a good run of success and have pretty much owned the NFL the past ten years.  And, I’m actually a dynasty-lover.  I like to see a team have a good long run of success.  The Patriots’ success reminds me that it’s still possible to be great and maintain it for a long time.  It’s inspiring.  It gives my male soul confidence that you can stay on top with hard work and perseverance.  After all, doesn’t every guy dream of being the richest, most handsome dude in the room?  That’s who the Patriots are right now, the George Clooney of the NFL.  So, I cheer for them.  It makes me feel more powerful and gives me stuff to say when I’m old like: “Man, I remember how great the Patriots were back in my day!”

But, the Giants?  How the heck did they even get to the Superbowl?  How did they make the playoffs?  They’re a slow, plodding, uncharismatic team.  To me, the Giants are like that ugly guy in your high school who always dated the hot girls.  You just couldn’t figure out how he did it.  And so it goes with the Giants.  They make me mad.  They bore me.  The fact that they beat my Packers in this year’s playoffs is a topic for another blog.

Maybe the Giants, like the ugly guy from high school, are successful because they’re all swinging long and low below the belt?  It’s gotta be something paranormal like that.  I don’t know what benefit having a large johnson would be to winning football games – maybe swagger?  Confidence?  Who knows.  Whatever it is, they’ve got it.

The ugly guy with the large unit from high school on the other hand – why do girls give him a chance in the first place?  Does he carry pictures of it in his wallet?  To me, a girl dating a guy with a large wang is like buying a beat-up car because the salesman said it had a really powerful engine.  You wouldn’t know unless you took it for a test drive first.  But some of them do give him a chance.  And so it goes.  He’s ugly but he succeeds.  Just like the Giants.

I’ll be watching Superbowl Sunday with joyful disinterest and a complete lack of concern for the outcome.  Sometimes, those games are the best.  No pressure.