Boy, figure skater Johnny Weir is really bringing some flair to the Olympic announcing booth this year, eh? Or should we say, flare? Like, road flare lit up and visible from space. He’s going to announce the shit out of these Olympics then head straight for the nearest parade, carnival, or 15th century cotillion. Watching him on TV is like seeing the offspring birthed from a drunken three-way between Elton John, Cher, and Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day.

Good for him though. He’s not letting these Olympic Games slip by without a display of showmanship. PyeongChang will be burnt to the ground. Go big or go home.