I just saw a dude walk out of a public men’s room stall with his iPad in hand.  I don’t mean, he brought it in the stall with him and rested it gently on the toilet paper holder to keep it safe from theft while he took care of business.  I mean he had the thing in the stall and was using it as a reading-material-delivery-device.  It was a newspaper in electronic form.  I know he was using the iPad while he was in the stall because he flapped the cover closed as he swung open the stall door.  

This just doesn’t’ seem right for many reasons.  First, there’s a touch screen on the thing.  Before touching the touch screen, he probably just touched any one of the following:  testicles, penis, underwear, ass crack, toilet seat, stall door handle, and who knows what else.  I’m not a germ-o-phobe but I simply think certain things should be kept pristine.  Your iPad is one of them.  A little potato chip grease that finds its way to your iPad screen while snacking is one thing.  A fine mist of E-Coli and streaks of steam transferred from your nuts to your fingers to your screen, is another.   

Now, I realize that reading on the john is something many people do.  I don’t personally enjoy reading in there because I feel that there are many more comfortable chairs in my house.  But, to each their own.  Answering a quick text on your cel phone while on the can could be considered remotely acceptable.  But, cracking out the Kindle app and catching up on the latest Dan Brown novel while taking a deuce, is a step too far, isn’t it?  

I think, the reason this whole notion of reading your iPad in the bathroom bothers me is because, at least magazines are disposable.  If things got dicey and unsavory, you could always throw the magazine away.  You take the iPad with you.  You’ll (hopefully) wash your hands.  I doubt you’ll wash your iPad.    

This whole scenario reminded me of the bathroom book that George defiled on Seinfeld. In the episode, George takes an expensive art book with him into a bookstore rest room.  The store, rightly, insists he buy the book.  George doesn’t understand why the book was forever ruined.  It didn’t dawn on him that the book was tainted by the sheer environment in which it had been temporarily subjected.  The guy reading his iPad in the stall must have been of the same mind as George.  I think that all bathroom-going-non-hand-washers are of this ilk.  They just don’t make the connection between hands, genitalia, mucous membranes, bodily waste, and cleanliness.  

One could probably say the same thing about virtually any library book…  You don’t know where those things have been either.  The last guy who checked out that book you’re reading could very well have taken it into the bathroom daily to do his deed.  Maybe even worse.  Who knows?  That’s why they put that plastic jacket over the book sleeve.  Library book covers are akin to Motel 6 bed spreads.  Without a black light, you just can’t be too sure…  Your iPad deserves better.  

So, anyone considering buying a used tablet I say, “Caveat emptor – Buyer beware!”  Buy the screen cleaner with alcohol and give it a good rubdown, just in case.