Steve Jobs started legacies…  A standard of personal computing that is integrated, elegant, and fun to use…  New hardware that has revolutionized the ways in which we work and communicate…  And a style of dress and deportment that lives on despite his passing.

I’m talking about the black sweaters that Apple employees still wear in stores, in TV ads, and on the Apple website as they pay homage to their great leader.  Today, I was watching “MacBreak Studio” a video podcast that discusses new technology in the professional television and video industry.  The content is excellent and I always pick up an idea or two worth committing to memory.  The podcast is a great value-add that Apple provides its customers.  But, the presenters on this podcast are usually dressed in a “Steve-Jobs-Style” black sweater – sometimes turtleneck, and sometimes not.

I’m here to say, the skin tight black sweater is not a good look for most engineers.  First, the black contrasts too violently with their milky white skin.  Let’s face it, the only sun these guys ever see is what sneaks in the car window when they pay for their latte at the local Starbucks drive-through.  Their complete lack of melanin clashes with the stark black in a way rivaled only by broods of Emperor Penguins and herds of zebras.  Secondly, the noodle-armed emaciation of most of these guys is not very becoming in a skin tight sweater.   You have to be somewhat chiseled to wear anything skin-tight.  The only weight these guys ever lift is an iPhone up to their ear.  If you haven’t done a curl, dip, or push-up in over twenty years, the skin tight black sweater isn’t going to work for you.  Finally, I can’t think of anything that looks more like the set of a German gay porn than two dudes standing on camera wearing skin tight black sweaters.  “Oh Dieter, what do you think about the Retina display on the new iPad 3?“  “Our customers will really love it, Hans.”  My belief: if a camera is rolling and there’s more than one dude in the room wearing what appears to be the top half of a skin tight black leotard, it will look too gay to play.

That’s all I have to say about that.  Let’s let the black sweater theme at Apple Computer die a graceful, peaceful death.  Geeks everywhere will rejoice.