Ernest Hemingway said we all need to have a “Built-in automatic crap detector.” A severe, unswerving, unrelenting ability to try and figure out what a person is saying without any fluff. Cut it to the very marrow. Try this. Take any common daily communication and then whittle it down and […]
Funny
157 posts
Why couldn’t we ever have a Pope called Steve? Pope Steve I. I’m not Catholic, but I like it.
I’ve recently returned to the habit of making smoothies. The delicious concoction of fruity goodness, yogurt, bananas, some protein powder, and other stuff. The smoothie could be man’s greatest invention. I’m the first to admit that the word “smoothie” just isn’t particularly masculine. The name sounds more like a salon […]
Anyone else ever throw away something vile from the fridge the night before thinking you’ll remember to take out the garbage in the morning… Then forget? It will remind you when you get home from work.
They said that the vestments are sitting in a back room at the Vatican waiting for the new Pope. Not knowing the jacket size of the new Pope until he’s elected they have several vest sizes to ensure a good fit: small, medium, and large. Unfortunately, there’s no 2XL. I […]
Observation: men over the age of 65 really seem to like their corduroys.
I’ve determined that nothing awakens your inner blood-lust and desire to kill like a fruit fly buzzing around stupidly in front of your computer screen. So dumb and little flying there in my direct line of sight. I don’t know why they make me so angry. Maybe it’s because fruit flies are […]
Peeing into a bottle on a road trip is akin to a basketball game: a slam dunk for men and more of a jump shot for women. Ladies, hope for a swish…
OK. You’re driving down a two lane road and hit an intersection. The light is red. Blocking the right lane in poll position is an eighteen wheeler. Blocking the left lane in poll position is a loaded dump truck. Which lane do you pick? Common logic says that you don’t […]
What’s up with schools and the current trend of preemptively canceling classes for the threat of inclement weather? For fear of sounding like my dad, they never cancelled classes due to the threat of bad weather when I was a kid. I remember once, it was 385 degrees below zero, with a dark side […]
Did you ever take a second to read the cooking instructions on the side of a frozen burrito? Basically, it says “Microwave on high for 2 ½ to 3 minutes.” That sounds simple enough. I can do that. Or, it gives you alternate oven cooking instructions “Preheat oven to 350 […]
I heard that kids today aren’t taught how to write in cursive anymore. Is this a good thing? What if they have to read something someone else has handwritten in cursive? If no one in their generation can read it either, how will they know what the note says? How […]
I recently joined a gym. It’s been a while since I’ve had a membership. I usually prefer to work out in the privacy and sanctity of my own home. I do this for many reasons. At home you don’t have to worry about that weird grunting face you make on your […]
Dating is like eating a bag of potato chips. You better pay careful attention or you might eat a burned one.
Dating is like eating a bag of potato chips. You better pay careful attention or you might eat a burned one.
Did you know that Facebook tracks the people with whom you correspond most and gives them priority on your news feed? Once I learned this, I started picking and choosing who’s posts I commented on, just to manage who popped up most frequently on my news feed. Everyone has a […]
I have to travel quite a bit in my job. While many times we’re shooting video for a big resort or other Five Star destination, many times we’re staying at the local $89 a night joint. Decent, but nothing fancy. Basically, a place to perform the three S’s, flop, and […]
When is the last time that you thought of Canada? Really. There’s the second largest country in the world, by sheer landmass, right to our north and we never hear about Canada. Over 3.8 million square miles of lakes, elk, and a bunch of other stuff no one even knows […]
I was just checking out a segment of the podcast “Live from Daryl’s House” an independent music project of Daryl Hall of “Hall and Oates” fame. Every month Daryl invites rock, pop, soul, country, and gospel musicians and singers to his house to perform a wide variety of music and […]