Have you ever noticed how former Queensrÿche lead singer Geoff Tate has started looking like Burl Ives from 50’s and 60’s TV? Most people know Burl Ives as the voice of the talking snowman in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Geoff Tate was the lead singer during Queensrÿche’s heyday writing […]
Funny
157 posts
There’s one smart tree in my yard. Every spring, all the other trees hurry up and get their leaves quickly, enduring snows and late April frosts along with a bunch of pissed-off robins who came back too soon. Every tree in the yard is so ambitious to get started except […]
An effortless way to catch thieves and keep our streets safe.
Funny people are the catalyst to productivity in the workplace. Hire someone smart. Hire a person with a sense of humor.
How much bacon do you eat while cooking bacon?
I changed the clock on the microwave today to reflect daylight savings time. Not sure why though. It’s usually flashing :13 seconds or some other random time from whoever got done using it last and you can’t see the time anyway. This is a definite pet peeve. My niece once […]
David Edelstein, CBS film critic, did an Oscar preview segment that aired on CBS Sunday Morning today. He gave a good rant about how many of his favorite movies from 2017 aren’t even on the best picture list. He also rightly bashed the stunt pulled in last year’s Oscars with […]
It’s always bothered me that Ferris Bueller’s dad never really washed his hands very well or used soap after he came out of the bathroom during that scene in the restaurant. It’s one of my favorite movies of all time and that gets me every time. I’m sure it’s something I’d […]
Boy, figure skater Johnny Weir is really bringing some flair to the Olympic announcing booth this year, eh? Or should we say, flare? Like, road flare lit up and visible from space. He’s going to announce the shit out of these Olympics then head straight for the nearest parade, carnival, […]
The older I get the more I feel like most of my day is spent getting out of bed and getting ready for the day or getting undressed and ready to go back to bed again. Let me see, drink some water, brush my teeth, take a pee, put on […]
Did you ever notice how different foods elicit different responses from people when you offer to share them at work? For instance, I offered some co-workers a scoop of my perfectly delicious-looking homemade casserole for lunch once and every single one of them declined. In fact, if I ran this […]
Whenever someone has a headache or injury of some sort, why do they always tell you to “Put a bag of frozen peas on it.” I realize it’s cold therapy for an injury, but why peas? Why not corn? Water chestnuts? Broccoli? It’s always peas. First off, I can’t believe […]
Two of my favorite lines in Christmas Vacation: Ellen: “Clark, what is it?” Clark: “Some jackass riding my tail.” A closer look at their license plate explains everything. *Illinois. To which the only sensible reply is… (My apologies to my friends south of the border. C’mon, you do it to […]
I try to keep the content 100% original in this blog but sometimes you run into something that resonates with you. Here’s my thought for the day: I’d say this philosophy has served me well. We’re talking figuratively kill, not literally of course. Kill them with wit. Disarm them with […]
Nothing like picking up a skeleton, some fake blood, and a Christmas tree when you’re out shopping. Very convenient. Thank you American retailers. Thank you.
There are only three settings for the professional football linebacker brain: procreate, eat, and kill. It looks like Clay Matthews was in kill mode as the Packers smoked da Bears 35-14 on this Thursday night.
After a three hour delay and five gate changes, my American Airlines flight is now adding ballast to the plane before we can take off. Yes, ballast. This, after charging me $25 for my single checked bag. Supposedly, they charge for checked bags because luggage makes the plane heavier and […]
If your last name is Hunt, you can’t have a first name that ends with the letter K. Clark Hunt, owner of the Kansas City Chiefs, has a rough name. Clark Hunt. Say it three times fast. Funny.
I’ve been reading the book “Mastery” by Robert Green, the bestselling author of the book “The 48 Laws of Power.” It’s really a fascinating study of creativity, genius, and the rules for mastering any field of study or area of concentration. The book contains countless in-depth features of the lives […]